me at night: ”Tomorrow I will wear something nice!”
i imagine that Beyoncé is off somewhere on a yacht, sipping on an olivia pope sized glass of wine, watching the entire world explode over her new album dropping out of literally the thinnest of air and cackling to herself with sheer joy. like, not only did she give you 14 new songs, but she gave you a music video for every damn one. this wasn’t just a casual troll, this was a calculated strike of nuclear proportions and she is leaving no survivors.
In health our teacher was showing us how to use girl condoms and passed around a fake vagina that everyone had to put said girl condom in. It got to a boy and he said “Do I really have to do this, vaginas aren’t really my forte.” and thats basically how he came out.